Dr. Sears formulated three new Zone Diet supplements providing super powers for hard core nutrition & daily fierceness in time for April Fools Day: X-rayRx, 3D-Rx, and JumpRx.
By Zone Staff:
On April Fools, 2016, Zone Labs revealed SuperPoweRx, its most powerful line of supplements yet. By day’s end, every bottle of Dr. Sears’ Zone X-rayRx, 3D-Rx, and JumpRx was sold out– discontinuing them for eternity.
These supplements provide super powers that allowed Zone loyalists to gaze through objects, enjoy 3D vision, and jump to new heights. Roughly 1.9 billion people (about 25% of the world’s current population) took advantage and joined the Zone family, while diminishing the world’s entire supply of nutrients required to manufacture these super supplements.
In case you missed them…
Dr. Sears’ Zone X-rayRx
You’ve always felt people should be transparent, and now they can be. Zone X-rayRx is specially formulated to give you the power to see through any solid surface. Dr. Sears has developed a radiation purification system that bends optical light, allowing you to safely see through any object, activated simply by pulling on your ear lobe. This product includes a safety shut-off feature so you don’t walk into any solid objects by mistake. See what you’ve been missing, and get the clarity you’ve always wanted.
Benefits of X-rayRx:
- At work – See what you co-workers are up to in their offices – keep important conference calls on track, and reduce exposure to NSFW shenanigans.
- At home – Increase the speed at which you can complete your grocery list, e.g., by observing empty milk cartons left by your loved ones without opening the refrigerator.
- With your children – Monitor homework, without appearing as a nosy parent thumbing through their notebooks.
- At the theatre – Don’t miss the show. Instead look right through the head of the tall galoot blocking your view.
Dr. Sears’ Zone 3D-Rx
Give the receptors along your optic nerve a boost so the world you already see in three dimensions comes to greater life, and observe things you never saw before. Sourced from a remote mountain top and harvested for years by Himalayan Sherpas, the active ingredient in Zone 3D-Rx is a completely flat 2D mineral that when absorbed by the body makes everything in your world appear three dimensional. With Dr. Sears’ patented blend of minerals and anti-oxidants, avoid tripping awkwardly over your own two feet and have television shows leave the screen and enter your living room. We think you’ll flat-out agree that this is one of Dr. Sears’ best discoveries in vision health to date.
Benefits of 3D-Rx:
- See what’s right in front of your own face, while barely paying attention.
- Navigate different surface levels (without needing a GPS device).
- Improve your worldly dimension (because we can all use a boost).
- Get one step closer the fourth dimension.
Dr. Sears’ JumpRx
Improve the spring-in-your-step with Zone JumpRx. Dr. Sears’ special formulation targets the twitch fibers in the quadriceps and calf muscles increasing their performance. Whether you are looking to jump your kids’ toys left in the living room, or skip out on work or school, JumpRx is for you. Never again will you need to look before you leap.
Benefits of Jump-Rx:
- Leap tall buildings, just for the fun of it.
- Skip the crosswalks – literally.
- Dominate pick-up basketball games, and impress your kids.
- Reach items on the top shelf with ease. Even storing household items on your roof is now a reality. (Zone is not responsible for anything that rolls off your roof.)
Dr. Sears’ Plan to Keep the Future Super
Dr. Sears has decided that Zone Labs will cease production of SupePoweRx because their astonishing popularity has caused him grave concern for world’s natural resources which are more crucial to make Zone Bars with polyphenol content.
Yet, Dr. Sears was pleased with the lightning fast success of the new supplement line.
“We are happy so many discovered super wellness while staying in the Zone. We opted to stop producing the SuperPoweRx to focus on OmegaRx 2, new meal-replacement shakes, pizzas and pastas – all products our customers have been patiently awaiting, and we hope to bring online later this year,” Dr. Sears said.